Tuesday's Resting Hour

    On Tuesdays I have about and hour completely to myself. Cambria now goes to a grandparents on Tuesdays when the hubby goes to work. It really helps a lot while I juggle picking up from band, taking to soccer, and Cub Scout meetings. Any of you reading that have the blessing of four children know that if you are missing just one it is a completely different dynamic. So, before I go pick up the others from school, I have a chance to catch up :)
    Last week was very hectic. Monday started lovely, I was even thinking that I might have to whole day to relax and do nothing but basic mommy duties. Then I got the call from school just 30 minutes before they were supposed to get out. My little guy was injured. Someone dropped a rock(small boulder) on his finger. The momma bear in me wanted to go find that boy and drop a rock on him! Aiden is one of the most gentle loving kids I know, and it broke my heart to see him in so much pain. We spent the evening in the hospital getting X-rays and getting his pinky cleaned and wrapped. Not broken, but the whole nail was popped off. He is doing ok now, "just hurts a little" he says. 

    Tuesday was the normal, cub scouts and soccer. Desi had a game instead of practice and they won 4-0. (Saturday we won 6-1) It's a great team this year! 

Thursday the girls had a dentist appointment and we found out Aliyah had chipped a tooth and needed a root canal... But as they numbed her as much as they possibly could, she was still feeling it and they realized it was to infected. So by the time we were done there and done filling prescriptions and done visiting with my mom, I was just done. Friday was normal soccer and Saturday we went to the fair! The fair was fun, the kids all enjoyed it and as we were walking a lady stopped us and asked if she could give the kids free tickets to the concert there that night. So, the kids got to see Zendaya, who was on dancing with the stars and  is on Shake it Up, a show the kids love! 

    Busy as always, delightful none the less. 

      So I leave you with a few tips

• Always carry your kids medical cards with you (or at least the number)
• Carry first aid kit (with gauze)
• If you need help with other children, ASK!
• Keep snacks in your car
• Accept that a well planned week may blow up in your face at any given time
• Relax and enjoy the ride

What's direction?!

    Another few weeks go by.... Well, we have had two birthdays since I was on last. Aliyah turned eight and I turned twenty-eight. It was good birthday fun all around. I remember a time where my birthday was important or a big deal to me, but it just really isn't anymore. Aliyah's is two days after so hers takes precedence. 

We had a lovely time this weekend, soccer and Disneyland on Saturday, little get together on Sunday. 
    Soccer was great! 

Desi's team, the Ding-Dongs, won their first game 7-1! Desi made one goal and assisted with three others. She is so happy to be doing what she loves again! Desi has also joined bad this year and will be playing trumpet. Her schedule is filling up quickly, Mon-Fri she has school 8am-2pm; Tue- band 2:15-3:30pm, Soccer 5:30-6:30pm; Thur- band 8:15-9:30am, Chess Club 2:05-3:30pm; Fri- Soccer 5:30-6:30. Then to top it off we have games every Saturday. Busy Desi, busy mom. With Aliyah and Aiden we have Cub Scouts most Tuesdays 6:00-7:00pm, Student Leadership Wednesdays 2:00-3:00pm, and Art class on Saturday mornings 10:20-11:00am.
    Yes, I am exhausted. I have close to no energy, but the kids are happy and that makes me happy. Hopefully they all stick with what they have chosen to do, but only time will tell. I am going to make an effort to have more informative posts. What are things YOU want to know about? What do YOU as readers want hear? I would love feedback and maybe point this blog in a direction! Thanks for reading!!

Raising Girls

    I am no expert, yet, but raising girls is not for the faint of heart. There are many people that have told me that they would rather raise boys than girls because of the emotional stress. Personally, I would rather be emotionally strong than physically.
    My son is a great joy in my life. He is a momma's boy through and through. I absolutely love the hugs and kisses and general concern that comes from him. On the other hand, he is extremely physically exhausting. He needs things done now rather than later and is constantly messy. I love him so much but am glad that I only had one boy.
    The ladies in my life are another story. Each one is very different but so similar in ways. They are emotional, moody, and at times very self conscious. Building these girls into women is a heavy task. I have to be conscious of every word I say or follow. The way I represent myself is a example to them everyday.
    My oldest is coming into the age of puberty and this frightens me. I did not have a really active example in my life at this time in my life. I am trying to make it smooth and comfortable for her. So far, things have been easy. She is an AMAZING young lady. There are a few things I see that I need to work on with her. The main thing is body image. I see her being uncomfortable with her body, and it reminds me so much of how I felt at that age, though totally different aspects. When I was in fifth grade, I was a little chunkier than some of the girls and I had B cup breasts. I was always unhappy. Desi on the other hand in always one of the oldest and usually four to six inches shorter than everyone any is super skinny with an athletic build. Luckily she is really sporty any is starting to appreciate her build. I have to try and make sure she knows how amazing she is!
    My middle girl is stuck in the middle of trying to catch up with the older one and holding on to her silliness. She has got a much softer heart and sometimes it scares me to see how eager she is to make everyone else happy. How do I build self assurance and strength in her without hardening her heart? I want her to know how amazing she is on her own. I don't want her to rely on others to make her feel self worth.

    My baby is wild. She is only two but is definitely going to give me a run for my money. She is snappy, witty, emotional at times, honestly she is the teenager. Hopefully I can help calm her wild heart and occupy her curious nature.

    Whether it's eye rolling or snappy remarks, there are tests everyday for me. Testing my ability to shape these young women. I know as they get older they will make their own choices and move their lives in the direction they choose. My wish is that my girls will have the independence they need, the heart to love others unconditionally, the strength to endure life's hardest times, and a thirst for knowledge.
 

Routine

    Summer is over! School has started and the hubby's vacation is over. Hopefully the routine of being a stay at home mom will creep up gently. I am very much looking forward to routine again. This is also the first time in eight years that I will only have one child most of the day, which scares me. I am not sure what I will do with myself. Mornings will be quiet, evenings and weekend should be pretty busy. We will have soccer, art class, chess club, and Boy Scouts, we will be busy indeed. 
    We didn't do as much as we usually do this summer, but we did have a lot of trips to Disneyland! 

The kids started school this last week and I couldn't be happier with their teachers. Desi is in the highest fifth grade class and loves her teacher. He has always taught fifth grade and seems to know how to get them to challenge themselves. Desi has also joined chess club which, on top of soccer three days a week, will keep her very occupied. Aliyah did so well last year that she was placed in a third/fourth combo class and she loves it! My little man, Aiden, started off in an average first grade class but was moved the next day to a first/second grade class. He loves the challenge and his teacher.

I am such a proud mommy! Hopefully the kiddos enthusiasm for education sticks with them. Now that the older three are in school from 8am till 2pm, I will probably be able to stick to the blog a little better. Here's to hoping! 

Friendships

Another two weeks go by... Well there isn't a lot of exciting things going on right now. At first that was great, I really thought that I needed a calm few weeks before school starts again (21 more days). But honestly I am going crazy! Sure we have made a few visits to Disneyland, but other then that there has been nothing. My kids don't seem to mind nearly as much as I do. Today, ALL four of my kiddos are gone and I am a little stir crazy. Hopefully going out to dinner with one of my closest friends will get me out of this funk. This Saturday I am going to a girls lunch thing with some of my oldest friends. It usually last all day and most of the night, so I am really looking forward to that time with other adult women.

For me, friendships have been hard to maintain. Ever since I was young I have had a hard time opening up to people and letting my guard down. There was always something that I was hiding from everyone, mostly my mother. Almost all my friends in grade school had stable families and mine wasn't like that. I was embarrassed. As I got a little older I became even more guarded. Then being a pregnant teen, I lost most of the people I thought were close friends. There are a few girls that I still talk to from that part in my life and I cherish each one of them. After having Desi I moved out of state and had no one really. Quickly there were all these girls that accepted me with all my faults. The friends I mad while I was living in Oregon are some of my most valued. We don't talk very often, but I truly believe that those women would do anything for me and I the same for them. Ladies, you know who you are :)

Now that I have been back here for quite some time and my marriage is in a super steady place, I have found the need for close friend relationships like the ones you see in the TV shows.... I have Rachel, my oldest closest friend. We went to Kindergarten together then met again in 6th grade. We weren't best friends right off the bat but quickly that changed. High school years were a little hard for us cause we were so wrapped up in boyfriends and such. But when she became pregnant a few months after me our relationship took a turn for the unbreakable kind. We are so different but yet so similar. I am glad to call her my best friend and my sister. Vero, is my other bestie. She keeps me young and gives me the satisfaction of being the "older sister".

She is actually my ex's baby sister. It took awhile for us to become the way we are now (probably because of the age gap) but I don't know what I would do without her. She is also the Godmother to ALL four of the kiddos.

This Saturday ladies lunch will hopefully continue so that I can build a better relationship with these woman that I was friends with in grade school.  The sense of camaraderie is something that I look forward to!

Well have a good weekend, and remember to love and cherish those you are close to!!

A needed calm

It has been almost two weeks since I posted last! Oops! There has been quite a bit going on lately, I guess. Baby showers, weddings, soccer tournaments, holidays, a bit of sickness. Things are much calmer now but for me it is a bit antagonizing. I am so used to the busyness that when I finally do come to a halt, it hits hard. Yesterday and today have not had any major accomplishments. Food was made, kids were bathed, some laundry was done.... but that's about it. No deep cleaning or mopping of floors or art projects. The living room and I are best friends at the moment while I am still trying to fight off this head/chest cold that has been haunting me for the last week. My mind has been racing with thing I need to do but my body has won that disagreement. I need to stop and rest, I know that, but it's so hard.
School starts again in 35 days. I will have a 5th, 3rd, and 1st grader in school from 8:00 am until 2:00 pm. It is great that they will all be there the same times and I won't have to be running back and forth like I did while I had one in Kinder. I am happy for the school year to start, not because I want to kids to leave, but because they enjoy it so much. They love having their separate friends and the chance to be individuals, which is hard here at home for them. There are a few things I am a little worried/sad about when school starts. One, Cambria, she is going to have a hard time with her siblings being gone all morning. I am sure she will come to appreciate the alone time with mommy and with the toys she wants to play with. Second, Desi, this is her last year of elementary school.
This time next year I will be getting my little girl ready for middle school. I don't know if I am ready for that! I remember the challenges that middle school brought and I am worried I won't be enough to help her when some of those challenges arise. Boys, clothes, mean girls.... ugh. Not looking forward to it at all. All the preteen things that we are already dealing with are just the tip of the iceberg. Luckily, she is an awesome kid with no serious attitude problems. Other than getting a little emotional and a slight raising of her voice with certain subjects, we see eye to eye and work out any discrepancies calmly and quietly. I love her to death and couldn't have been blessed with a more perfect first child. Sometimes I think she has made it to easy for me.
So, here is to the next 35 days. Hopefully this calm time will be good for everyone. I believe we all kind of need it.

Blah

Blah, blah, blah.... That about sums up my last few weeks. There has been a lot going on and I feel the tension and stress building up. There are things I do to try and relieve some it like watching a favorite movie, reading, talking with friends, wine..... or writing about it. I have always kept diaries and journals. Writing has always been a release for me. Blogging has been my newest diary, I can put my feelings and worries out there and sometimes get feedback on what to do. Lately it feels as though my ability to vent has been compromised. And it's not just one person that feels what I write or post on other social media outlets is about them. I believe that a lot of it is due to the quality of our relationships with each other. 
Relationships will vary with everyone, that is guaranteed, but what do you do about ones that will never work? Egos get in the way, feeling get hurt, people overreact. IT HAPPENS! Sometimes the relationship even turns toxic, I try to keep my distance from those. My mother and I had a very toxic relationship for a long time, and some of the damage that happened is irreversible. There will always be trust issues. The damage in some of my other relationships is also very irreversible. The best we can do is suck it up and deal with it one day at a time. 
I am not going to change who I am or the things that I believe in. I have been through too much in my life to be put down and muzzled. I am sorry for the way others end up involved but I will not apol
ogize for my feelings.  Hopefully one day there will be a way for all of us to deal with these situations at hand. I can only pray.