New Year, New everything

   This last year was a bit of a tough one for most of the people I know. There were so many things lost but yet a lot of "light at the end of the tunnel" moments as well. The people we lost this year are dearly missed and the new additions are greatly cherished. Death and loss really make people wake up, sometimes. Then there are some who are just consumed by grief. All I can do is pray that these people find peace and hope that they remember to love those who are still here and want to help.

That being said, Happy New Year!! The new year always brings out the best in people. At least for a while. Hopefully it brings out the best in all of you. This year is already shaping up to be a busy one for us. Desi was accepted onto the Spring Select team for soccer, which means long practices and weekend long tournaments. She will also have marching band performances at Knotts, Disneyland, and tons of others. Des has been blossoming in Middle School and I could not be prouder! She finished her first semester with straight A's which was no easy feat. Aliyah is top of her class with straight A's as well as Aiden! Proud momma here :) Cambria will be starting Preschool this year, crazy... Not sure I am ready for this. 

     I expect this year to be a tough one for parenting. Desi has been a pretty awesome preteen so far, but you never know what is around the corner. The never-ending task of coparenting with the girls father has taken a turn towards a very tough uphill battle and this may very well be the year it explodes. People change, sometimes not for the better, its a lesson the girls are learning very closely right now. Lets just hope for the best.

    

    Now, on to a happier note, my dad is here for a few days and I am over the moon about it. He is staying with us and we are even doing a Disneyland day! 

     Here is to a New Year! To New Beginnings! To New Friends! To Old Friends! To Lots of Coffee! To Lots of Disney!

    

                                 

Is it enough?

    Raising children is difficult. It can be the most trying thing at times. As hard and tiring as it is, there is nothing I want to do more. Being the person I am, I worry constantly. I always am wondering what I can do to help my children in the right path without becoming over barring. As their mother I believe that I should be able to have a say in who they are with and what they do, within reason. I don't expect to dictate their personal relationships when they are older. But seeing as they are all still children, I do have the right to make my opinion known. 
    Co Parenting is hard. It is hard to have different rules and values and expect the children to navigate which to choose and which to disregard. My girls are getting older and are starting to realize the differences in their full time home (mine) and their weekend home (their dad). The past five and a half months they girls have been with me only while their dad is in Afghanistan. My oldest has been doing a little soul searching during this time it seems. She has become angry with her dad and not looking forward to his return. I am not sure how to approach her with the subject. She has suggested changing his visitations when he returns and I probably will. 
    How do you force your child to go somewhere she doesn't want to be? In my opinion, you don't. Our other daughter does not have theses feelings and is truly excited that her father will be back in a little over a month. I am hoping that things go smoothly but I am very cautious. He has made poor choices with them and has let other influences take the front seat. He has brought less than favorable people into their lives and that makes me extremely nervous. 
    As their mom, I only want the best, most outstanding people involved in their lives. I want them to have amazing examples of women to strive to be like. I can only pray that as these next few crucial years pass, that my girls choose the right path. I can only pray that I find a balance with their father. I have to try and trust that I am doing a great job with them and they will not seek to many outside influences.  

Raising Girls

    I am no expert, yet, but raising girls is not for the faint of heart. There are many people that have told me that they would rather raise boys than girls because of the emotional stress. Personally, I would rather be emotionally strong than physically.
    My son is a great joy in my life. He is a momma's boy through and through. I absolutely love the hugs and kisses and general concern that comes from him. On the other hand, he is extremely physically exhausting. He needs things done now rather than later and is constantly messy. I love him so much but am glad that I only had one boy.
    The ladies in my life are another story. Each one is very different but so similar in ways. They are emotional, moody, and at times very self conscious. Building these girls into women is a heavy task. I have to be conscious of every word I say or follow. The way I represent myself is a example to them everyday.
    My oldest is coming into the age of puberty and this frightens me. I did not have a really active example in my life at this time in my life. I am trying to make it smooth and comfortable for her. So far, things have been easy. She is an AMAZING young lady. There are a few things I see that I need to work on with her. The main thing is body image. I see her being uncomfortable with her body, and it reminds me so much of how I felt at that age, though totally different aspects. When I was in fifth grade, I was a little chunkier than some of the girls and I had B cup breasts. I was always unhappy. Desi on the other hand in always one of the oldest and usually four to six inches shorter than everyone any is super skinny with an athletic build. Luckily she is really sporty any is starting to appreciate her build. I have to try and make sure she knows how amazing she is!
    My middle girl is stuck in the middle of trying to catch up with the older one and holding on to her silliness. She has got a much softer heart and sometimes it scares me to see how eager she is to make everyone else happy. How do I build self assurance and strength in her without hardening her heart? I want her to know how amazing she is on her own. I don't want her to rely on others to make her feel self worth.

    My baby is wild. She is only two but is definitely going to give me a run for my money. She is snappy, witty, emotional at times, honestly she is the teenager. Hopefully I can help calm her wild heart and occupy her curious nature.

    Whether it's eye rolling or snappy remarks, there are tests everyday for me. Testing my ability to shape these young women. I know as they get older they will make their own choices and move their lives in the direction they choose. My wish is that my girls will have the independence they need, the heart to love others unconditionally, the strength to endure life's hardest times, and a thirst for knowledge.