Is it enough?

    Raising children is difficult. It can be the most trying thing at times. As hard and tiring as it is, there is nothing I want to do more. Being the person I am, I worry constantly. I always am wondering what I can do to help my children in the right path without becoming over barring. As their mother I believe that I should be able to have a say in who they are with and what they do, within reason. I don't expect to dictate their personal relationships when they are older. But seeing as they are all still children, I do have the right to make my opinion known. 
    Co Parenting is hard. It is hard to have different rules and values and expect the children to navigate which to choose and which to disregard. My girls are getting older and are starting to realize the differences in their full time home (mine) and their weekend home (their dad). The past five and a half months they girls have been with me only while their dad is in Afghanistan. My oldest has been doing a little soul searching during this time it seems. She has become angry with her dad and not looking forward to his return. I am not sure how to approach her with the subject. She has suggested changing his visitations when he returns and I probably will. 
    How do you force your child to go somewhere she doesn't want to be? In my opinion, you don't. Our other daughter does not have theses feelings and is truly excited that her father will be back in a little over a month. I am hoping that things go smoothly but I am very cautious. He has made poor choices with them and has let other influences take the front seat. He has brought less than favorable people into their lives and that makes me extremely nervous. 
    As their mom, I only want the best, most outstanding people involved in their lives. I want them to have amazing examples of women to strive to be like. I can only pray that as these next few crucial years pass, that my girls choose the right path. I can only pray that I find a balance with their father. I have to try and trust that I am doing a great job with them and they will not seek to many outside influences.  

Let's get started!

    A new year is here! I kind of took the last few months off because of the craziness that holidays are. Everything went a lot smoother than I had expected. There was no fighting, kids got everything they wanted, and I was not as stressed as I had been. 
    The kids are still on winter break for another week, which is a long time. They have gotten a little stir crazy. Everything has been on break, we don't have soccer, band, chess, or boy scouts. Luckily, this weekend we sent the kids with grandparents and aunts so that they could have a break from each other. I can't wait to be back on a schedule and have the chaos back, it has been to quiet.
    New Years often brings on everyones resolutions and statuses about how they are going to be better or healthier people. I am not one of those people. I believe if there is something you are going to change then you will, regardless of what day it is. 
    Hopefully everyone has the year they want to have or better. I for one, am excited for this year and the changes that will be happening. 

Checking in

    There hasn't been a lot to post about that is any different from the other posts. Still working on schedules, birthdays are coming, and holidays scare me.

    Aiden is going to be six in two weeks and that makes my heart sad. He is my only little guy an is probably the most loving out of the bunch. I only have a few more years to enjoy his innocent heart. 

    Holidays terrify me. Between my husband and me, there are so much family and gatherings we are supposed to be attending. The last two years we have kinda canceled Christmas with local family and drove to meet my traveling dad in random cities. That was a lot of fun. My husband still says our Christmas in a hotel in Oakland was one of his favorite ever. This year we are stick to the same old stuff, I think. Thanksgiving will be a treat though. My dad and other mom will be here! I am so excited about this. Now, the dilemma is to decorate or not. Usually I am not one for decor or anything, it's hard enough to get me to put up pictures on the wall. Hopefully I will get a small urge to make the house "Fall Cozy", but only time will tell. If I do, there will be pictures!  

    Here is to hoping things go smoothly and that I don't pull out my hair by New Years. 

    

Tuesday's Resting Hour

    On Tuesdays I have about and hour completely to myself. Cambria now goes to a grandparents on Tuesdays when the hubby goes to work. It really helps a lot while I juggle picking up from band, taking to soccer, and Cub Scout meetings. Any of you reading that have the blessing of four children know that if you are missing just one it is a completely different dynamic. So, before I go pick up the others from school, I have a chance to catch up :)
    Last week was very hectic. Monday started lovely, I was even thinking that I might have to whole day to relax and do nothing but basic mommy duties. Then I got the call from school just 30 minutes before they were supposed to get out. My little guy was injured. Someone dropped a rock(small boulder) on his finger. The momma bear in me wanted to go find that boy and drop a rock on him! Aiden is one of the most gentle loving kids I know, and it broke my heart to see him in so much pain. We spent the evening in the hospital getting X-rays and getting his pinky cleaned and wrapped. Not broken, but the whole nail was popped off. He is doing ok now, "just hurts a little" he says. 

    Tuesday was the normal, cub scouts and soccer. Desi had a game instead of practice and they won 4-0. (Saturday we won 6-1) It's a great team this year! 

Thursday the girls had a dentist appointment and we found out Aliyah had chipped a tooth and needed a root canal... But as they numbed her as much as they possibly could, she was still feeling it and they realized it was to infected. So by the time we were done there and done filling prescriptions and done visiting with my mom, I was just done. Friday was normal soccer and Saturday we went to the fair! The fair was fun, the kids all enjoyed it and as we were walking a lady stopped us and asked if she could give the kids free tickets to the concert there that night. So, the kids got to see Zendaya, who was on dancing with the stars and  is on Shake it Up, a show the kids love! 

    Busy as always, delightful none the less. 

      So I leave you with a few tips

• Always carry your kids medical cards with you (or at least the number)
• Carry first aid kit (with gauze)
• If you need help with other children, ASK!
• Keep snacks in your car
• Accept that a well planned week may blow up in your face at any given time
• Relax and enjoy the ride

What's direction?!

    Another few weeks go by.... Well, we have had two birthdays since I was on last. Aliyah turned eight and I turned twenty-eight. It was good birthday fun all around. I remember a time where my birthday was important or a big deal to me, but it just really isn't anymore. Aliyah's is two days after so hers takes precedence. 

We had a lovely time this weekend, soccer and Disneyland on Saturday, little get together on Sunday. 
    Soccer was great! 

Desi's team, the Ding-Dongs, won their first game 7-1! Desi made one goal and assisted with three others. She is so happy to be doing what she loves again! Desi has also joined bad this year and will be playing trumpet. Her schedule is filling up quickly, Mon-Fri she has school 8am-2pm; Tue- band 2:15-3:30pm, Soccer 5:30-6:30pm; Thur- band 8:15-9:30am, Chess Club 2:05-3:30pm; Fri- Soccer 5:30-6:30. Then to top it off we have games every Saturday. Busy Desi, busy mom. With Aliyah and Aiden we have Cub Scouts most Tuesdays 6:00-7:00pm, Student Leadership Wednesdays 2:00-3:00pm, and Art class on Saturday mornings 10:20-11:00am.
    Yes, I am exhausted. I have close to no energy, but the kids are happy and that makes me happy. Hopefully they all stick with what they have chosen to do, but only time will tell. I am going to make an effort to have more informative posts. What are things YOU want to know about? What do YOU as readers want hear? I would love feedback and maybe point this blog in a direction! Thanks for reading!!

Raising Girls

    I am no expert, yet, but raising girls is not for the faint of heart. There are many people that have told me that they would rather raise boys than girls because of the emotional stress. Personally, I would rather be emotionally strong than physically.
    My son is a great joy in my life. He is a momma's boy through and through. I absolutely love the hugs and kisses and general concern that comes from him. On the other hand, he is extremely physically exhausting. He needs things done now rather than later and is constantly messy. I love him so much but am glad that I only had one boy.
    The ladies in my life are another story. Each one is very different but so similar in ways. They are emotional, moody, and at times very self conscious. Building these girls into women is a heavy task. I have to be conscious of every word I say or follow. The way I represent myself is a example to them everyday.
    My oldest is coming into the age of puberty and this frightens me. I did not have a really active example in my life at this time in my life. I am trying to make it smooth and comfortable for her. So far, things have been easy. She is an AMAZING young lady. There are a few things I see that I need to work on with her. The main thing is body image. I see her being uncomfortable with her body, and it reminds me so much of how I felt at that age, though totally different aspects. When I was in fifth grade, I was a little chunkier than some of the girls and I had B cup breasts. I was always unhappy. Desi on the other hand in always one of the oldest and usually four to six inches shorter than everyone any is super skinny with an athletic build. Luckily she is really sporty any is starting to appreciate her build. I have to try and make sure she knows how amazing she is!
    My middle girl is stuck in the middle of trying to catch up with the older one and holding on to her silliness. She has got a much softer heart and sometimes it scares me to see how eager she is to make everyone else happy. How do I build self assurance and strength in her without hardening her heart? I want her to know how amazing she is on her own. I don't want her to rely on others to make her feel self worth.

    My baby is wild. She is only two but is definitely going to give me a run for my money. She is snappy, witty, emotional at times, honestly she is the teenager. Hopefully I can help calm her wild heart and occupy her curious nature.

    Whether it's eye rolling or snappy remarks, there are tests everyday for me. Testing my ability to shape these young women. I know as they get older they will make their own choices and move their lives in the direction they choose. My wish is that my girls will have the independence they need, the heart to love others unconditionally, the strength to endure life's hardest times, and a thirst for knowledge.
 

Routine

    Summer is over! School has started and the hubby's vacation is over. Hopefully the routine of being a stay at home mom will creep up gently. I am very much looking forward to routine again. This is also the first time in eight years that I will only have one child most of the day, which scares me. I am not sure what I will do with myself. Mornings will be quiet, evenings and weekend should be pretty busy. We will have soccer, art class, chess club, and Boy Scouts, we will be busy indeed. 
    We didn't do as much as we usually do this summer, but we did have a lot of trips to Disneyland! 

The kids started school this last week and I couldn't be happier with their teachers. Desi is in the highest fifth grade class and loves her teacher. He has always taught fifth grade and seems to know how to get them to challenge themselves. Desi has also joined chess club which, on top of soccer three days a week, will keep her very occupied. Aliyah did so well last year that she was placed in a third/fourth combo class and she loves it! My little man, Aiden, started off in an average first grade class but was moved the next day to a first/second grade class. He loves the challenge and his teacher.

I am such a proud mommy! Hopefully the kiddos enthusiasm for education sticks with them. Now that the older three are in school from 8am till 2pm, I will probably be able to stick to the blog a little better. Here's to hoping!