I will try....

    As much as I would like for this to be a fun upbeat post, it is not. There is not much happiness floating around in my family right now. Just a few days ago my family lost a great man. He was one of the most loving, generous people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He was always there for anyone at anytime. My Uncle John had been battling cancer for seven months and though there were real times of progress and hope, he lost his battle. 
    Grief is not something that can be overcome simply. Most cannot just wake up one day and say "I am not going to be sad today" and it actually work. You can go all day not breaking down and a simple thing like a piece of celery can set off a world of pain. A pain so deep that you feel like it is damaging every bone in your body. Outsiders don't know what to do. They joke or bring food or do anything to try and take your mind off of the fact that your whole life is now off track and going somewhere you had not seen coming.
    As an "outsider" I am having a terrible case of the "let me help"s. Yes, I lost an uncle, but the pain and torment that my Aunt and cousins are going though is what kills me. I want to be there so bad, but what can I do? Nothing is going to take the hurt and pain away. I know that they have to have this grief, they have to be able to be mad or sad. This is their grief, we have to let them have it. However long it takes I promise to be there for them in any shape or form, as I know they would for me. I pray for my family in this time of pain. I pray that they know that they have people here for them. I pray that they know that they did everything they could have done and not feel guilt over Gods plan. 
    Maybe there will be a day where they will feel they can breathe without the sharp pain. Maybe it will take a very long time for us to make sense of why now? Maybe we will be able to rejoice while remembering his huge heart and loving smile. Maybe we can all strive to be like him in some sense. I know I will. 
    I will try to be a person that helps without thinking. I will try to be a person that gives whatever I can. I will try to teach my children the same values. I will try to smile when I think of him. 
    I will be there for my family.
          I love you, Uncle John. Thank you.... for everything.

Tuesday's Resting Hour

    On Tuesdays I have about and hour completely to myself. Cambria now goes to a grandparents on Tuesdays when the hubby goes to work. It really helps a lot while I juggle picking up from band, taking to soccer, and Cub Scout meetings. Any of you reading that have the blessing of four children know that if you are missing just one it is a completely different dynamic. So, before I go pick up the others from school, I have a chance to catch up :)
    Last week was very hectic. Monday started lovely, I was even thinking that I might have to whole day to relax and do nothing but basic mommy duties. Then I got the call from school just 30 minutes before they were supposed to get out. My little guy was injured. Someone dropped a rock(small boulder) on his finger. The momma bear in me wanted to go find that boy and drop a rock on him! Aiden is one of the most gentle loving kids I know, and it broke my heart to see him in so much pain. We spent the evening in the hospital getting X-rays and getting his pinky cleaned and wrapped. Not broken, but the whole nail was popped off. He is doing ok now, "just hurts a little" he says. 

    Tuesday was the normal, cub scouts and soccer. Desi had a game instead of practice and they won 4-0. (Saturday we won 6-1) It's a great team this year! 

Thursday the girls had a dentist appointment and we found out Aliyah had chipped a tooth and needed a root canal... But as they numbed her as much as they possibly could, she was still feeling it and they realized it was to infected. So by the time we were done there and done filling prescriptions and done visiting with my mom, I was just done. Friday was normal soccer and Saturday we went to the fair! The fair was fun, the kids all enjoyed it and as we were walking a lady stopped us and asked if she could give the kids free tickets to the concert there that night. So, the kids got to see Zendaya, who was on dancing with the stars and  is on Shake it Up, a show the kids love! 

    Busy as always, delightful none the less. 

      So I leave you with a few tips

• Always carry your kids medical cards with you (or at least the number)
• Carry first aid kit (with gauze)
• If you need help with other children, ASK!
• Keep snacks in your car
• Accept that a well planned week may blow up in your face at any given time
• Relax and enjoy the ride