Teen Mom

Not the show.... Me. I was a teen mom. 16 & pregnant, yep, that was me. I had Desi when I was just  17 years old. Her dad had just turned 18 and had graduated high school the spring before. Were we ready? No. Could we afford it? No. Was it planned? No. But we made it work. He didn't have a lot of support from family and neither did I. It was left to us to figure out. 
By no means do I think having to figure this out was a bad thing. I have never thought that I missed out on something. I made decisions that led me to being a teen mom. I decided to have sex. I decided to not follow up on the effects of taking antibiotics while on birth control. I decided to not have an abortion or put my baby up for adoption. These are decisions I made. I can not blame my childhood or circumstances for the way my life was going. Everyday since the day my daughter was born I have been dedicated.
I see many good mothers, many great mothers, but then there are some others. Everyday there is a mom on a social media site that is to busy with their own life to be bothered with the life they decided to create and to actively mother. It kills me to see children raised by aunts or grandparents out of obligation. I am glad that these kids have an adult that WANTS to raise them, but the damage it does to family ties are usually irreparable. Wake up women!! Our children grow up so fast, don't let them slip through your hands. Instead of spending two weekends in Vegas or Tuesdays and Thursdays at the bar and Fridays at the club, RAISE your children. Read to them, play with them, soak in every bit of these precious moments you have with them. I commend every birth mom that has given her child to a loving family. Awesome decision, if you are pregnant and do not believe that raising a child is an option for you, give it a loving home. Now, I know some women out there have babies and believe their partner is always going to be there and be the best dad anyone could hope for. Statistics show this isn't the case most of the time. Maybe the daddy didn't stick around or maybe he is a complete jerk, that doesn't mean you quit being the mom. Value this gift you have been given. You made grown up decisions, act on them. 
Please, for the sake of our future let's raise nurtured children. Let's be the moms these little miracles deserve.
 

Summer is coming!

This weekend gave me a headache. I had a night out on Friday which is kind of a rarity. Had some drinks (actually a lot) with one of my besties. Saturday we had super early soccer games and I had quite the hangover. This is not something I do a lot so it was difficult to get through the day. However, the games went well and so did the rest of the weekend. Today, we stayed in and had a little BBQ, it was a lovely weekend indeed (besides the headache).

The kids only have eight school days left, two of which they get out early. This school year went so fast and I find myself grasping at ways to keep my kiddos little. It is hard for me that Aiden is graduating kindergarten and that this next school year will mark Desi's last year in elementary school. That makes me SAD! All my little ones are growing up so fast. So, the goal of this summer is to have fun and spend a lot of time soaking in these moments with the kids. Disneyland will probably be our number one please this summer since we have passes. But I really want to try and do some individual dates with each kiddo, it is so fun to see them in separate settings. Hopefully we can get some museum, salon, library, zoo, park dates in this summer. Hope everyone had a great weekend! 

Here is a little gem from this Friday!

....And one from soccer.

And Cambria BBQing :)

In an instant... A year later.

A year ago I almost lost my mom. Some of you might remember the hell that was my life a year ago. But for those that don't, my mom had a massive tumor that was crushing all of her organs and was killing her from the inside out. A year ago was supposed to be her surgery date. She had a hard few months before trying to get to this date. She had been admitted to the hospital numerous times but this time was a week before her surgery date and everything looked promising. The day before her surgery she developed a fever and started throwing up blood. She went to get a scope to see where she was bleeding from during which she stopped breathing. She was then transferred to the ICU. She had severe pneumonia and was intubated. There would be no surgery and really seemed like there was no hope. I spent all the time that I was not at work with her. 
Most of the doctors that we saw told us there was no hope for her. She was to sick to have the surgery, and without the surgery she would not get better. That was it. 
During our last meeting with doctors, they gave us a chance. There was a good chance she would die during the surgery, she would definitely die without it, so we did it. 
She didn't die. She is better now. Some of her organs are still a little out of wack. But she didn't die.
I am thankful for everyday I have with her now. I am a lucky lady to have this second chance with her. Remember to love those close to you and those who are hardest to love. Most aren't as lucky as I was. 

Starbucks and Minivans

I woke up with a massive headache this morning, this has been happening the last few days. My Starbucks addiction was a little out of control so I cut it back to once or twice a week. In the meantime I make my coffee at home. Hopefully my super caffeine "withdrawal" headaches go away soon. I am having to drink almost a pot of coffee to feel normal! Anyways, today is Wednesday which means soccer practice. I love going to practice. In fact, I love everything that has to do with going to soccer. I never really thought I would be that kind of mom, but I have embraced it fully.
Last year in September we move about 35 minutes from the city we were used to. It was an adjustment at first. This town is small and the houses are spaced out and it takes effort to go to the stores and shopping. Two reasons we moved here was the yard, and the schools. The schools here are amazing and I was so happy to be able to give this opportunity to my kids. Desi had been signed up for soccer in our old city so since September I had been driving her the 35 minutes to practice every Monday and Wednesday, then games on Saturday. I was hopeing to be done by Feburary but she was asked to join the Spring Select team which does tournaments all spring and half the summer. It was a big honor for her, of course I had to say yes. Now here I am Mondays and Wednesdays driving, in my minivan taxi, the 35 miles for practice again. On most weekends we do tournaments which are in different cities each time. They are a blast, besides the fact they empty my wallet due to gas. Never the less, I love being a minivan driving, Starbucks sipping, soccer mom.
A year and a half ago we thought this might not be possible for Desi. She used to be a little sickling. She always had stomach issues and headaches and never felt very well. We went through countless tests and doctor visits trying to figure out what was wrong. We even tried doing six months of being gluten free because the doctor thought it may be celiac disease. Finally after what seemed like forever, we saw an allergy specialist to get her tested.

She was allergic to pretty much everything. She started getting shots twice a week for a year. Now, we only do once a week with no end in sight. She is a new kid now, none of the health issues. So while some people think I am crazy for doing all the driving and all the work that comes with being a full fledged soccer mom, I appreciate it. I will continue to sit and watch her, volunteer, drive, do snack duty, or be the treasure for the team. Knowing now that there was a chance she would never be able to do it, I will cherish every moment. So here is to five weekends in a row of tournaments, empty gas tanks, and probably very frequent visits to Starbucks!

Walking the line

I absolutely love my kiddos and being a mom. It is one of the greatest things, I believe, someone can do with their lives. My children will always have me to look out for them or if they need anything. I will always strive to be able to do whatever it is that they need. Whether that's putting a little more strain on my finances or giving them a little more space. I know as they get older it will be hard for me to let them go but that's what we do. We raise our children the best we can and hope that they can go out into the world and make some kind of positive impact. I am raising my daughters to be self sufficient women who by all means will be able to take care of themselves if they need to. I don't ever want my girls to feel they need to rely on someone. To be able to rely on someone is one thing but I don't want them to NEED to. I will raise my son to be a man who respects people and be the type of man someone could rely on if THEY need to. 

I will never make any of them feel bad for wanting a great education, even if that means I'll be broke and/or they will be far from me. There are some parents I know that hold their children back from becoming something greater by refusing to condone or by refusing to help financially. I wish they could realize the damage they do. 

I will never be so obsessed with my children's relationships that it interferes with them. When my children are grown and have adult relationships I will keep my nose out of it. If they need someone to talk to or lean on if things go badly, I will be there. I will not judge them for the type of person they decide to be with. I can't stand how some parents can not just mind their own business. They are so rapped up in their children's relationships that their kids start to resent or even dislike them for it. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!

Children and adults alike have to be able to make mistakes in life to be able to see what works and what doesn't. My children will know we love them and that we are there no matter what. I want them to feel they can come to us for anything. I will not enable my children. They will become responsible, respectful, self assured adults. I look forward to this in their future.

Hopefully the parents that are doing more damage than good, will see the way they are hurting their kids. Maybe one day some of these parents will start to grow up themselves......

Simple things

Yesterday was wonderful and today is shaping up to be just as good. I was able to actually clean the floors and get a little house work done. I did get some errands done in the morning and all the kids got out of school at different times due to field trips and such. So, a very productive morning which was followed by chicken enchiladas for dinner and all four kids in bed and asleep by 9! Cambria is usually a party animal at night and I sometimes can't get her down till midnight. I also got to spend my evening with one of my best friends drinking wine and chatting. It was a lovely evening. This morning has been just as great. The kids all woke up in great moods as did I. The Hubby went and got our bag of Panera bagels for the week then came home and made me breakfast. These are the mornings that I cherish. This weekend is going to be a long super busy one which makes me appreciate the quiet and calmness. The busyness will start very soon and in a way I look forward to it. The kiddos get out of school early today and will be off to a day at Disneyland with my in laws, Bria is spending the day with my mom, and I am going to help my bestie move/unpack in her new home. Tomorrow will start our fourth soccer tournament this season. I love these games! It is so much fun being able to my daughter do what she loves. It really does get intense for us parents though. It is crazy to see how rough these 10 year old little girls can be, plus it seems as though most of us parents are very competitive. So, here is to everyone having a great Friday! 

Mothering never ends

I started my mothering adventure early in life. I was 16 when I found out I was going to be a mom and 17 when she was born. I would say I took to it instantly. Maybe it's because I had no other choice, I didn't have anyone to really help me. Or it could be something that dated back years before. My mom and I have a great relationship right now, but it wasn't always like that. For the first 23 years or so of my life my mom, for lack of a better word, sucked. She was self absorbed and spent most of my life self medicating and being a complete reck. I can remember being very young worrying about things I had no business even knowing about. To add to the chaos I had two little brothers. I didn't want the burden of stress and worry to fall on them so I took it all. Tucking my mom in after a night of drinking to waking up in the morning and packing lunches and making sure the boys got to school. That's when the mothering started. Some of my family will claim that it was always there with me, ever since I was born. No matter when it did start, I love it. Taking care of people is what makes me happy. I love every second of it.
But where does it end?! When can I learn to back off a little? Where is the line on who to mother? Sure, I mother my children, and I still try to mother my brothers and my own mother. But sometimes the mothering seeps out to close friends or not even as close friends.....  I can't stop! I just feel like I have to watch out for everyone. I am trying to back off a little in certain situations but sometimes to no avail. Luckily most of the people closest to me accept and mostly embrace this about me. I honestly have some of the best people in my life. Maybe one day I will relax a little, maybe I won't. Maybe the key is just to not focus on things I can't do anything about. I will try to just pour out my love to those who need and want it. I will try to not stress out about little things. I will try.

Ornery...

Tuesdays are usually my clean up days. I do laundry, really clean the floors, clean kitchen and bathrooms. It's a busy day for me. Saturday- Monday are usually busy for us. We have tournaments, practices, church, family time, and sometimes some well needed down time where nothing gets done. 

Today Cambria has been especially ornery. She has been climbing up the bookshelf, coloring on everything, and just being rude to the other kids. People that don't know Bria usually think there is no way that this tiny cute little thing could be the brute of the group, but she really is. The worst thing is that it's hilarious. It is comical to see her be this way. Yes, I do get super frustrated and then she makes a cute little face. I am toast. 

So while I chase after her and try to contain the chaos, I am reminded of how I will miss these days. I will miss the colorings on my floor. I will miss the loudness of her chasing the others around. I will miss the days I can't be mad at her. I will miss all of this when she is older and wanting to be on her own. Even though some days I feel like I was hit by a bus, I know I will cherish every minute I had with her at this stage. My house might not get as clean as I would like but my heart is continuously filled to the brim with these moments.

Our Intro

    Hello! As some of you might know, I have had a blog before. It was kind of a sad blog with a happy ending. This is a different kind of blog as now I feel like a different kind of person. As a mom of four, I have a lot of funny things happen around me. I also have a lot of crazy, frustrating, debilitating things happen also. This is a blog for that. For me to rant about the things that mean the most to me. Now, time to introduce the crew.
    I am Nikole, a 27 year old stay at home mother of four. Yes, four children. First there is Desi, 10 years old, and she is my best friend. She is the most like me personality wise. She is super smart and quite the athlete. Aliyah ,7, is the heart of the group. She will do anything for anyone as long as it makes them happy. She is an artist with a soft nurturing soul. Aiden, 5, is my little man. He is the life of the crowd. He is a performer through and through. All boy but completely a momma's boy. And then there is Cambria, 2, the wild one. She is independent and free spirited. She does not take crap from anyone and holds her own in this busy little family. My husband, Rudy, is 30 and a wonderful man. He completes me in every way.
    I just recently became a stay at home mom(again) after working the last two and a half years. I am trying to work my way back into a routine with everything, but with four little ones it's not an easy task. We always have so many things going on that life tends to be hilariously hectic sometimes. My hope is to give some other people, parents or not, a little humor into the craziness that involves being a parent. Or maybe just a feeling of  "you're not alone". Hope you enjoy some of my crazy little rants :)